DRAGON AGE 2

a review of Dragon Age 2
a videogame developed by bioware
and published by electronic arts
for personal computers, the microsoft xbox 360 and the sony playstation 3 computer entertainment system
text by Toph Stuart

0.5 star

Bottom line: Dragon Age 2 is “watching parts 2, 7, 29 and 48 of Let's Play Dragon Age 2.”

FLOWER

a review of Flower
a videogame developed by that game company
and published by sony
for the sony playstation 3 computer entertainment system
text by Hamish Todd

4 stars

Bottom line: Flower is “what has enflamed our desire to behave, and feel, like wind.”

BULLETSTORM

a review of Bulletstorm
a videogame developed by people can fly and epic [megagames] (most likely clifford bleszinski did everything)
and published by Electronic Arts
for personal computers, the microsoft xbox 360 and the sony playstation 3 computer entertainment system
text by tim rogers

3.5 stars

Bottom line: Bulletstorm is “the best murder-boner stroking simulation so far this year.”

flower

a review of Flower
a videogame developed by that game company
and published by sony
for the playstation 3 computer entertainment system
text by action button dot net

1.5 stars

Bottom line: Flower is “Katamari Damacy for people who don't have a sense of humour.”

mass effect 2

a review of Mass Effect 2
a videogame developed by bioware
and published by electronic arts
for Microsoft Windows, the microsoft xbox 360 and the sony playstation 3 computer entertainment system
text by Toph Stuart

2.5 stars

Bottom line: Mass Effect 2 is “Star Trek: The Next Generation: Away Team: The Game of the Movie anymore -- it's an actual videogame.”

Kane and Lynch 2: Dog Days

a review of Kane and Lynch 2: Dog Days
a videogame developed by io interactive
and published by eidos interactive
for Microsoft Windows, the microsoft xbox 360 and the sony playstation 3 computer entertainment system
text by action button dot net

3.5 stars

Bottom line: Kane and Lynch 2: Dog Days is “a game whose only verb is Kill.”

THE DAZZLES

a review of The Dazzles
a videogame developed by nintendo spd group no.1
and published by nintendo
for the nintendo DS
text by Hamish Todd

4 stars

Bottom line: The Dazzles is “directed at casual-gaming preteen girls in the same way that Starship Troopers is directed at stuffhead preteen boys.”

Soul Bubbles

a review of Soul Bubbles
a videogame developed by mekensleep
and published by eidos
for the nintendo DS
text by Hamish Todd

2 stars

Bottom line: Soul Bubbles is “a physics simulator from fairy land.”

okami

a review of ÅŒkami
a videogame developed by clover studio
and published by capcom
for the nintendo wii and the sony playstation 2 computer entertainment system
text by Hamish Todd

2.5 stars

Bottom line: ÅŒkami is “the most beautiful game ever made.”

Sherlock Holmes vs. Jack The Ripper

a review of Sherlock Holmes vs. Jack The Ripper
a videogame developed by frogwares
and published by focus home interactive
for Microsoft Windows and the microsoft xbox 360
text by Brandon Parker

2.5 stars

Bottom line: Sherlock Holmes vs. Jack The Ripper is “has nothing to do with a deerstalker-adorned Holmes fist-fighting a cane- and top hat-wielding Ripper on top of god damn Big Ben.”