Archive for April, 2007

NEO GEO BATTLE COLISEUM (**1/2)

Posted on April 28th, 2007

ngbc boxa review of neo geo battle coliseum

a videogame by SNK Playmore
published by SNK Playmore
in arcades and for playstation 2
text by david cabrera
score: 1/2 (out of four)

Bottom line: Neo Geo Battle Coliseum is “GONNA PLAY SOME STREET FIGHTER FOUR OUTSIDE, RIGHT NOW!!”

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SENKO NO RONDE (*1/2)

Posted on April 25th, 2007

O gosh!a review of
senko no ronde
a videogame by G.Rev
published by sega
in the arcades and your Xbox 360
text by brendan lee
score: 1/2 (out of four)

Bottom line: Senko no Ronde is “boring.”

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MUSOU: OROCHI (1/2*)

Posted on April 24th, 2007

OROCHIiiiIIIiiia review of
musou orochi (orochi warriors)
a videogame by omega force
published by koei
for the sony playstation 2
text by tim rogers
score: 1/2 (out of four)

Bottom line: Musou: Orochi is “apparently designed by men who took six years to obtain bachelors’ degrees in PowerPoint Presentationology.”

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electroplankton (no stars)

Posted on April 24th, 2007

Simple, reallya review of
Electroplankton
a not-videogame by Toshio Iwai
published by Nintendo
for the Nintendo DS
text by thom moyles
score: Zero (out of four)

Bottom line: Electroplankton is ” is the most worthwhile piece of software that you could put in your DS.”

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Burnout Dominator (PSP) (***)

Posted on April 24th, 2007

*a review of
burnout: dominator
a videogame by electronic arts
published by EA games
for the sony playstation portable
text by bennett
score: (out of four)

Bottom line: Burnout:Dominator is
“not a driving game. thank god.”

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The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past (***)

Posted on April 17th, 2007

*a review of
the legend of zelda: a link to the past
a videogame by nintendo ead
published by nintendo
for the nintendo super nes and the nintendo wii virtual console
text by andrew toups
score: (out of four)

Bottom line: The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past is
“a hell of a lot better than I remember.”

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golden axe (*)

Posted on April 15th, 2007

The first sign that something's wrong is that the human is holding the axe on this covera review of
Golden Axe
a videogame by SEGA
published by SEGA
in the arcades and for the sega genesis and nintendo wii virtual console
text by thom moyles
score: (out of four)

Bottom line: Golden Axe is “not insulting, it’s just dumb.”

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seiken densetsu 4 (dawn of mana) (**)

Posted on April 14th, 2007

that means a review of
seiken densetsu 4 (dawn of mana)
a videogame by square-enix
published by square-enix
for the sony playstation 2
text by tim rogers
score: (out of four)

Bottom line: Seiken Densetsu 4: Dawn of Mana is “at times admirable and cute as some weird Engrish spoken by a shop-keeper in a barely-known 8-bit game translated by a team of two Japanese girls and four dictionaries.”

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Defcon (*1/2)

Posted on April 13th, 2007

a review of
defcon
a videogame by introversion
published by valve, introversion, encore
for windows
text by matthew sakey
score: 1/2 (out of four)

Bottom line: Defcon is “a low-megaton yield.”


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new super mario bros. (*1/2)

Posted on April 12th, 2007

a review of
new super mario bros.
a videogame by nintendo
published by nintendo
for the nintendo ds
text by brendan lee
score: 1/2 (out of four)

Bottom line: New Super Mario Bros. is
“too goofily honest to really sap you over the head.”

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