crackdown

a review of Crackdown
a videogame developed by realtime worlds
and published by microsoft
for the microsoft xbox 360
text by tim rogers

3 stars

Bottom line: Crackdown is “why kids don't play with Lego anymore.”

donkey kong 3

a review of Donkey Kong 3
a videogame developed by nintendo R&D#1
and published by nintendo
for the arcades, the fujitsu micro 7, the nec pc-8801, the nintendo entertainment system, the nintendo gameboy advance e-reader and the nintendo wii virtual console
text by Eric-Jon Rössel Waugh

1 star

Bottom line: Donkey Kong 3 is “as much fun and about as wholesome as lighting a birthday candle on your chest and covering it with a jam jar.”

wild arms V: the Vth vanguard

a review of Wild Arms V: The Vth Vanguard
a videogame developed by media.vision
and published by sony computer entertainment japan
for the sony playstation 2 computer entertainment system
text by tim rogers

4 stars

Bottom line: Wild Arms V: The Vth Vanguard is “brilliant, subtle, and pretty low-key for a Rube Goldberg device.”

saints’ row

a review of Saints' Row
a videogame developed by volition, inc.
and published by THQ
for the microsoft xbox 360
text by tim rogers

ZERO stars

Bottom line: Saints' Row is “the videogame equivalent of a hate crime.”

final fantasy iii (DS)

a review of Final Fantasy III (DS)
a videogame developed by matrix software & square/enix
and published by square/enix
for the nintendo DS
text by Brendan Lee

1 star

Bottom line: Final Fantasy III (DS) is “Bending from the waist.”

SIGMA STAR SAGA

a review of Sigma Star Saga
a videogame developed by wayforward technologies
and published by namco
for the nintendo gameboy advance
text by Andrew Toups

1 star

Bottom line: Sigma Star Saga is “a cautionary tale to naive independent developers with 'innovative' ideas.”

the elder scrolls iv: oblivion

a review of The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion
a videogame developed by bethesda softworks
and published by 2K games
for Microsoft Windows, the microsoft xbox 360 and the sony playstation 3 computer entertainment system
text by tim rogers

1.5 stars

Bottom line: The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion is not the fucking holodeck on 'Star Trek: the Next Generation'.”

hotel dusk: room 215

a review of Hotel Dusk: Room 215
a videogame developed by cing
and published by nintendo
for the nintendo DS
text by Brendan Lee

2 stars

Bottom line: Hotel Dusk: Room 215 is “Actually fucking trying.”

monster world complete collection

a review of Monster World Complete Collection
a videogame developed by sega
and published by sega japan
for the sony playstation 2 computer entertainment system
text by tim rogers

3 stars

Bottom line: Monster World Complete Collection is “A summary of all that is joyful in the world, plus memories of how retarded we were.”

taiko no tatsujin 9

a review of Taiko No Tatsujin 9
a videogame developed by namco, ltd.
and published by bandai-namco games
for the arcades
text by Brendan Lee

1 star

Bottom line: Taiko No Tatsujin 9 is “The ninth one of these.”