Comments on: God of War 2 (zero stars)

By: MTV Multiplayer » ‘Zelda’ Vs. Mode - The Full Croal And Totilo Exchange

Wed, 21 Nov 2007 16:59:06 +0000

[...] “place bomb here.” The signature “Zelda” move of forward-rolling to bash, to dodge or just to fill time has been mapped to the one touch-control misfire, an exercise in futile edge-of-screen [...]

By: MTV Multiplayer » ‘Phantom Hourglass’ Vs Mode: N’Gai’s First ‘Zelda’ And My Last?

Mon, 29 Oct 2007 14:36:12 +0000

By: cromulous

cromulous — Sat, 11 Aug 2007 11:53:11 +0000

I saw this hooker standing on a corner. She looked pretty good in (or perhaps despite) her gaudy makeup and slutty clothes. Even at a glance I could tell underneath it all her body wasn’t half bad. She was no super model or even average regular model but the thought did cross my mind that it was a bit of a shame she didn’t put her looks to some better use.

I pulled over and she approached my window. She wanted $50. I thought that was a bit steep but agreed. She got in and off we went. She didn’t have much to say and lacked eloquence so I turned the radio up. I was disappointed. I prefer to have a deep meaningful conversation before I fuck a ho.

After the motel necessities we got to the room and she undressed. My earlier assessment was correct. As for what came next, well, she was a bit of a dead fish. She lay there while I went through the motions. Another disappointment though I’ve had worse. At least she licked my balls.

I give her zero stars out of four.
Because fucking hookers is wrong.

By: diplo

diplo — Fri, 04 May 2007 05:48:18 +0000

wow

By: richfab

richfab — Tue, 01 May 2007 20:08:49 +0000

i’d just like to say who ever did this review is a cunt i registered just so i could say you have no idea of what makes a good story in a game i just think you gave it 0 because you’re such a gay bastard you can’t even play it well. how can you call your self a man when you give this game a 0 or is it you just get a kick from being a twat and marking all the good games 0? YOU ARE A CUNT.

By: slop101

slop101 — Tue, 17 Apr 2007 19:19:35 +0000

“…. This isn’t fun. It’s a nervous tick. It’s a bad habit. It’s obsessive compulsive behavior. ”

Not shit. Welcome to THE NEXT GEN!!! Are you surprised by this? People seem to care more about their fucking achievement points than the game their playing. It’s becoming more and more apparent that video games are more of a nervous tick or a habit than something that’s just fun.

By: CubaLibre

CubaLibre — Sun, 15 Apr 2007 19:08:59 +0000

Amen to that. I will darken the earth with wine in a prayer to (d)Zeus, and then one for my homies.

You don’t like Gears of War, though, and it makes me sad; for I have not yet played it, but I unthinkingly trust the opinion of anyone willing to use Attic Greek on an internet message board. It is worrisome!

By: floppylobster

floppylobster — Sat, 14 Apr 2007 01:58:54 +0000

Then we must fight together like brothers against shit games like this.

By: CubaLibre

CubaLibre — Fri, 13 Apr 2007 19:47:36 +0000

Floppylobster, I am unfortunately a dude. And for the record, I don’t think Achilleus and Patroklos were that way.

But we could make beautiful, beautiful mind babies.

By: toups

toups — Fri, 13 Apr 2007 16:41:03 +0000

I tried it last night.

It’s even worse! It does change the game, yeah, but it goes from being pleasantly boring to mind-numbingly tedious. Very hard mode means that instead of having a plentitude of boring ways to kill enemies, you have only one to do it that keeps you from getting killed (usually). And so extended battles against the same fucking enemies over and over and over become a finger-cramming exercise in repetition. I gave up when I reached a boss which required me to hold down block and then use the same combo over and over and over and over and over again for like 15 minutes while hoping not to get hit the 2 or 3 times which would result in death.

In conclusion, this game is still terrible.

And the thing is — even on normal toying with enemies and flinging them around and experimenting with how to kill them gets old really fast. The game throws about twice as many enemies at you as it should, and the same 2 or 3 death animations each one get become old before you leave the game’s introductory chapter.

Granted — the animations are marvelous. It’s just, they’re a bandaid. They cover up the fact that the game is shit.