GRAND THEFT AUTO IV (***1/2)

Posted on May 9th, 2008

grand theft auto iv a review of
grand theft auto iv
a videogame by rockstar north
published by take 2 interactive
text by tim rogers
score: 1/2 (out of four)

Bottom line: Grand Theft Auto IV is “one step closer to the Holodeck from ‘Star Trek: The Next Generation’”.

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ROCK BAND (**)

Posted on May 9th, 2008

rock band a review of
rock band
a videogame by harmonix
published by electronic arts
for the sony playstation 3 and microsoft xbox 360 computer entertainment systems
text by tim rogers
score: (out of four)

Bottom line: Rock Band is too much harder than having a real band”.

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portable island (zero stars)

Posted on May 9th, 2008

LET ME OUT a review of
portable island
a videogame by namco-bandai games
published by namco-bandai games
for the sony playstation portable
text by tim rogers
score: ZERO STARS (out of four)
(originally published on 14 august, 2006 insertcredit.com; reprinted (by the author) without permission)

Bottom line: Portable Island: Resort in the Palm of Your Hand is “a postcard from a robot.”

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GRAND THEFT AUTO IV (***)

Posted on May 6th, 2008

gtaivab.pnga review of
grand theft auto iv
a videogame by rockstar north
published by take two interactive
for the xbox 360 and playstation 3
text by james edwards
score: (out of four)

Bottom line: grand theft auto iv is “heavily garnished

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mario kart wii (**)

Posted on April 15th, 2008

INSIDE THE GAME OUTSIDE THE GAME INSIDE THE GAME OUTSIDE THE BOX INSIDE THE BOX a review of
mario kart wii
a videogame by nintendo
published by nintendo
for the Nintendo Wii Budget-Price Fun Device
text by tim rogers
score: (out of four)

Bottom line: Mario Kart Wii is “a grinning corpse.”

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Dragon Quest VIII: Journey of the Cursed King (**)

Posted on April 15th, 2008

THE OCEAN THE SKY THE SEA THE CONTINENT THE LAND THE CURSED PRINCESS a review of
dragon quest viii: journey of the cursed king
a videogame by Level-5
published by Square-Enix
text by ario barzan
score: (out of four)

Bottom line: Dragon Quest VIII is “a beautiful bed-time story that’s constantly interrupted by the monsters under your bed.”

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bangai-o spirits (****)

Posted on March 21st, 2008

hell yeah a review of
bangai-oh spirits
a videogame by treasure
published by D3 publisher
text by tim rogers
score: (out of four)

Bottom line: Bangai-oh Spirits is “‘brain training’ for God”.

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super smash bros. brawl (**)

Posted on February 20th, 2008

nintendo all-stars to the rescue a review of
super smash bros. brawl (dairantou smash brothers x)
a videogame by hal laboratory
published by nintendo
for the nintendo wii
text by tim rogers
score: (out of four)

Bottom line: Super Smash Bros. Brawl is “the best bowel-movement simulator yet”.

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super smash bros. brawl (****)

Posted on February 20th, 2008

nintendo all-stars to the rescue a review of
super smash bros. brawl (dairantou smash brothers x)
a videogame by hal laboratory
published by nintendo
for the nintendo wii
text by tim rogers
score: (out of four)

Bottom line: Super Smash Bros. Brawl is “the best game of all-time”.

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tekken 6 (1/2*)

Posted on February 20th, 2008

HILARIOUS ALT TEXT a review of
tekken 6
a videogame by namco
published by bandai-namco games
in the arcades; soon to be on playstation 3
text by tim rogers
score: 1/2 (out of four)

Bottom line: Tekken 6 is “escapism for quadriplegics”.

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